In my last post I identified a couple of obstacles that often arise when we’re seeking to bring change in our lives. First, the belief that somehow there will come a perfect moment to take action. Usually tomorrow. But as we saw, tomorrow never comes. I also discussed how one decision was all it took to get the ball rolling in a new direction of your liking. It occurred to me since then that there was another massive impediment to change, one that often keeps me stuck in fact:
Ha! If only.
It’s true sometimes waiting has wisdom. But more often than not, waiting, especially when prolonged, is fear disguised as wisdom, the fear of making the “wrong” decision, going down the “wrong” path, causing my life to unravel beyond repair! Oh nooooo!
“Right/wrong” thinking needs to be questioned. “Wrong” according to who? What? Versus what “right”? Rights and wrongs, at least in the creative process (isn’t that what life is?) are the product of a dualistic mind that likes to think it can “win” and is afraid of “losing”. Using quotation marks everywhere because winning and losing, like rights and wrongs are subjective. Obviously what feels right to someone could feel wrong to someone else, and vice versa. Who is to say? The bottom line is “right and wrong” thinking holds us back in the process of making decisions, gaining clarity and creating a life we love, simply. In the end, there are no right or wrong decisions. There’s just one big learning experience. Life.
I bet you can also find supportive evidence in your own life that many decisions you’ve made, no matter how uninspired (“wrong”) it felt at the time, has helped you clarify what you actually liked (“right”). Perhaps you once committed to a project, apartment, partner or yoga retreat that you realized were not a good fit for you (“wrong”). Well, those are the experiences we need to have in order to get to know ourselves better and choose more skillfully next time around. (“right”).
Waiting for absolute clarity only dampens enthusiasm. Doubts creep in. More confusion sets in and you feel more stuck than ever. No, it is from taking action, even, precisely (!) when not 100% sure, that you’ll figure out what it is you want more, or less of, in your life. Each new decision informed by the clarity and self-knowledge gained from the previous one. A never-ending creative process! Fun.
“Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it.
Action has magic, grace and power in it.” Goethe
In my own life, I can think of many decisions I’ve made that I was not fully convinced about: taking my first yoga teacher training, going to the Swedish Institute for massage therapy and even enrolling into the Kripalu School of Ayurveda. Each required a substantial investment of time and money. I had my share of doubts. Would I like the teachers? Was the timing right? Could I maintain my existing practice and study all at once? Yet, I went for it and I can assure you now I have no regrets. Every step of the way I developed increasing clarity on what I really enjoyed doing, what my best offerings were (helping women relax + reconnect to their soul-power with Yoga, Ayurveda, meditation), and those that were not (digging into sore muscles, telling people what to eat or how to detox). And I’m still refining my niche, I can tell you that!
Confused? Get out of your head. Take action. Gain clarity. Repeat.
Here’s to making a move, clarity or not!